You Think I’m Complex?

woman leaning on wall
Photo by Thiago Miranda on


I love watching dating shows, where I can get tips, hear horror stories, and a good laugh when I need it. Watching Patti Stanger grill her clients on The Millionaire Matchmaker and its latest incarnation, Million Dollar Matchmaker, I noticed I have a fascinating similarity to several of her female clients shown.  Many of these extremely successful women have difficulty with romance because they have a lot of masculine energy and are told that can be intimidating to men. I call foul on that. Just because they can hold their own in any situation and will not back down from a challenge, that shouldn’t be construed or dismissed as shrewish, aggressive behavior.  It really boils down to being an unabashed, unadulterated Alpha Female. Pertaining to me, call it whatever you want, and spin it however you feel you need to, but you need to realize that as an Alpha Female, there is no doubt about it. I am a badass.

I know I’m a handful. I have never denied it.  I definitely attribute it to my intense personality, which, in turn, presents a low tolerance for phoniness, insincerity, and arrogance. If there is something said or done that I don’t like or that is inappropriate, I will be absolutely blunt.  I will call you out on it or, if I don’t feel there’s a point in doing that, ice you out completely.  I don’t have resting bitch face, but make no mistake, my body language, if not my tone of voice, says it all. Most of us who have been called difficult, intimidating, or complicated have something in us that not everyone is equipped to deal with. It’s called an inner fire, an assertiveness that blazes up from our very core.

Ballsy women aren’t a dime a dozen. We are in a class by ourselves.  We expect courtesy and respect for the powerful beings that we are. We are confident and strong. We stand out in a crowd and stand up for what we want and believe in! For example, as soon as I meet anyone, I like to banter and crack jokes as much as possible.  If a man can’t hold a decent conversation with me or bounce quips, I’m done.  I won’t just go out with a man simply because they are attractive and may flirt with me. It’s going to take more than that to impress me. You need to be pure of heart and soul, have a good head on your shoulders, a brain in your head, and be hysterically funny. While I have been told I need to tone myself down, (and as I have gotten older, I have), I often wonder why I have to. The fact is, I will never fit into the perfect mold of the girl next door. It never was me, and it never will be. I would be lying to myself if I tried to completely change my personality.  Boys, take my advice, if you come across a strong woman and want to be with her, please don’t try to change her or mold her like Pygmalion did Galatea. It will never work.

If you are a badass, no one has to tell you that you are. You already know.

You are a force to be reckoned with.

You march to the beat of a different drummer and you don’t follow the crowd like a sheep.

You take no prisoners and brook no fools.

You love burns more than a million wildfires.

You fight for what’s right and fair.

You expect manners from potential mates, and will not tolerate anything less.

You command attention, whether it’s strutting down the street or in the board room.

You exude an energy that’s magnetic.

You like to show off your intelligence, sparkling conversation skills, and wit, and savor the same in others.

You get knocked down, and you get back up. Every. Single. Time.

You will never take a backseat to anyone.

If someone tries to snuff out your natural spark, your instinct automatically tells you that they are not right for you and you move on.

You aren’t afraid to voice your opinion about anything.

In the different facets of your life, you strive for success and work your ass off to achieve it.

You are in tune with yourself, but know that you are always a work in progress.

Wearing your power outfit or even ratty sweatpants, you walk into any room like it’s the runway in Milan during the Spring shows:  head high, back straight, eyes on the prize.

You will never, ever settle.  

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s